Tag Archives: women

Most Eligible Bachelor

Current situation on the streets a ‘yard’: Name: Anything between something from your father’s time to the stupidest compound name ever created. Age: Between 28 – 42 years old. After that it gets creepy. Philosophy: Nuff gyal and gyal inna bungle!/ Money, Gyal, Weed and Liquor!/ M.O.B. all day everyday. Job Title: Jack of all trades. Master of none. Skills: Claims he can cook and clean. Probably knows how to drive a car but you cant say since he doesn’t own one. Hobbies: Dominoes on the corner, football with friends, sitting on the corner chatting bout which and which girl him done, basically being a big waste of time and space.Done-ing a gyal, dishing out disrespect, smoking, being loud, drinking, cussing…..should I go on? Net Worth: Less than the average Jamaican’s light bill yet claims he can take care of you. Enjoys: Having sex with women, multiple, at the same time if possible. Don’t get mad. Its just what the man likes! And undisturbed sleep…don’t for get that! Location: 90% of the time…on the corner. The other 10%…his mother’s house. (God rest her soul) Sexual Preference: WOMEN. Don’t let him hear you say otherwise even if its true! Perfect Match: A good gyal. (A girl at least 10 years younger than them who has very little say in how the relationship will work. She will submit to him or take ‘bax’ and kick if she refuses. She also must know how to wash white clothes and take care of herself with the money he gives her. If he is giving her money then she has to be ‘sending on’. She cannot disrespect him on the street. She must have very little self respect and know that men show love through kick, ‘bax’ and thump.) Relationship Status: In several relationships but the next woman doesn’t have to know that. She will have ‘wifey’ status. Baggage: Has some kids somewhere that he doesn’t support. Probably some that he doesn’t even know about.(In this case, trace your family heritage so you don’t end up making some good soup!)

I must be stupid! Can someone please tell me why it is that men who fit this general description are the ones that women seem to be running after? I know that women outnumber men in Jamaica but honey, good men are still around. They are just busy working up the corporate ladder. To get one, start looking in the right places and position yourself mami!

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