“He was just a stranger with a drink. Till he spoke. Then he became an experience I wanted to have. Once, perhaps. That should be enough” she said.
“Hmm. What exactly did he say? What did you two talk about?” asked the therapist.
“It’s not so much what he said but how he said it” she tried to explain. “He spoke with such confidence. He commanded attention without raising his voice. That sexy voice of his. It’s like chocolate- he’s like chocolate. You just want to lick it.”
“So his voice is what attracted you to him then?” a valid question.
“That paired with his look. He had these eyes…I don’t want to say dreamy but they make you want to know what’s behind them. And when he smiles and they get even smaller, gosh it’s just an overall gorgeous look.” Smiling and biting her lips at the same time, the recliner transported her down memory lane.
“I knew he was taken but I just wanted to have some fun. After all, I’ve never seen a tree I wanted to climb and didn’t. I told him I wanted him and he was ok with the suggestion. So we had sex.”
“His voice drew you into bed with him? Is that what I am getting?”
“Ummm. I don’t know. Maybe because physically he’s different from what I normally go for but his different it good. He felt different and newness was sweet. He was sweet. I liked the feel and taste of his skin. I liked the fact that I didn’t have to say anything or ask anything. I like the fact that he just did it. I liked the fact that he didn’t ask me to do anything I didn’t want to simply because he wanted me to. I liked the fact that he made it easy to feel right. I looked past some things I shouldn’t have because after all I just wanted one thing and then I’d be gone but…I liked the sex more than I thought I would. I liked the feel of his body more than I thought I would and it happened again. I broke my rules with this man and when I said I’d had enough I let his voice and eyes pull me back. And ooooh, he’s so refreshing in bed.”
“Though I don’t condone messing around with men already involved in a relationship, there is nothing wrong with an occasional tussle between two consenting adults. This is probably what you needed, Ava” said the therapist, still trying to figure out the purpose of the session.
“You don’t get it do you? I developed feelings for this man. I wanted one like him for myself because I knew I couldn’t have him. I really liked him till I saw the family portrait in his wallet. He’s your husband, Carmen.”
There I was, in the middle of this party, enjoying the music, eyeing delicious men when it sank in…’I’m not getting any tonight‘.
I couldn’t let that happen. I didn’t have to get up for work the next morning…why spend the night alone?
I chugged my last drink and while locking my gaze on a tall, dark, chocolate statue, I was dancing on a random stranger. I didn’t even bother to check him out.
The next thing I remember is sitting in a man’s car in the drive-through looking at him as he asks “Do I know you?”
I smiled and it defused him. He stretched out his hand and introduced himself. I shook it and told him my name.
“So, where are you going?” He asked.
“Wherever you are going.”
“Ok. So you are going my way, cool.”
The rest of the conversation was a blur but I remember hearing “I don’t want to take you away from your man, what would he think?” and something about ‘eating some food’ and that ‘who knows, maybe we’ll #&*%’.
I do remember what happened in the car…Let’s not talk about that.
In the darkness of his apartment, he grabbed my neck and pushed me against the wall while biting his lip and drawing closer to me.
My heart raced and before I could gather my thoughts and catch my breath, he engulfed my mouth with his and took me in to an all-consuming kiss.He pulled back and undressed me as he kissed my body, touching me everywhere asking if my boyfriend does it like that to me.
I could hardly get a complete word out of my mouth.
Before I knew what was happening I was in the air. Then I was on the bed. Then I was assaulted with the best of every trick in the book.
I don’t know when he stopped playing in my hair but coupled with the sex it was the perfect way to knock me out.
I fell asleep with the thought of our agreement to do this again…in secrecy.
Then I woke up.
Everywhere, everything was bright. The onslaught of light left me useless for a little while.
I rolled over to face him.
“Good morning” said my boyfriend.
I smiled. “I needed that.”
“And I needed that.”