Tag Archives: random

Nothing Like I’ve had Before

He was nothing like I’ve had before.

Sure he was smooth.

Sure he was soft.

But he was hard and rough too.

He had a way of making you relax and enjoy the moment before you could realise how high he had taken you.

He had a way of making you want to just see him.

To see his eyes, dark and mysterious.

To see his face, serious and handsome.

To see his smile or hear his laugh and watch as his eyes disappeared and you could get a glimpse of his well-protected soul.

He tried so hard to seem tough.

He tried so hard to prove he was rough.

But time would show the things it cannot hide.

Like his growing need to see me.

Like his habit of burying his face in my neck and just breathing me in.

Like his insistence on not parting without a kiss.

His heart began to show and I pushed him away.

Now another wall has been erected around his heart.

All because of my fear of what it might have been.

It didn’t fit any descriptor.

It was completely unfamiliar.

He was nothing like I’ve had before.

Almost Over is Not the End

Its July (‘Finally!’ I can hear some people say) and more than half of 2017 is in the bag.

I took a moment and looked at the things I had hoped to accomplish by this time and some of them I have yet to and others seem that they will not be accomplished. A part of me feels, or I should say felt, a little disappointed that after trying my hand at setting S.M.A.R.T. Goals I may not achieve  them all.

Just this morning, my advice to a friend was that she needed to examine a particular situation as if she was not directly involved in it, to give it a fair judgement. That’s what I needed to do (take your own advice nuh sista!). As it turns out, being rue to self, I had set AMBITIOUS goals (I apparently changed the meaning of A in SMART Goals). The goals I had set for the time-frame I had set them for were quite ambitious in that any once could have told me that they were either too heavy or just too much for me to take on alone especially in the time I had set out to do so.

I am not disappointed in setting goals beyond what I can readily attain. I am, however, disappointed in the fact that somethings will have to be rescheduled. I believe they are all of equal importance and choosing which to delay is hard. It is a good thing I find solace in knowing that my journey is not the same as the next person’s I can’t compare my life to theirs. My life has to be compared with itself over a period of time. Without a doubt I can see growth and progress. So while half the year is behind me I am not behind in meeting goals and REALISTIC goals and targets

If you are reading this and you too have realised that some goals o targets for this year will not be met, don’t begin to beat yourself up about it. Step out of the situation and think about how you can shuffle it to move forward. Remember there is no blueprint for this thing. We are all trying to figure it out too.

There is no wrong or right way to pace your life.

What are some of your goals or targets for this year?

It was 10 years ago

Today is June 20, 2017. What happened on this day 10 years ago, is lost to me. I don’t know OK? I have to think to remember what underwear I put on this morning. Generally speaking, in June 2007 I was in my last year of high school. I had probably just wrapped up my Caribbean Secondary Education Certificate examinations and was preparing for graduation.  (Coincidentally, 10 years later my high school, the St. Hilda’s Diocesan High School, is finally extending to have a sixth form.)

I remember a few things that were concerning me the most at that time.


Oh my God! I failed my Caribbean History examination and will have to resit it.


I DON’T fail! I just don’t. Like anyone else out there I don’t like the feeling of failing or losing. This was the first time (only twice so far) that I felt that I had not only let myself down but others as well and caused embarrassment and a blow to my reputation. After the exam I went home, got into bed and cried all night (again, this only happened one more time after this).

Leading up to the examination I was online (yahoo messenger…yes. It was hot) chatting with a classmate of mine about unrelated topics. Once at school, the chatting was taken offline and face-to-face. I did not revise or read over the way I normally would have in preparation. I felt unprepared.

When the results came out, I passed Caribbean History with a distinction (the highest score/ grade category). What was I stressing about? I don’t know. And on top of that, I am not an historian today.


I am not graduating or taking any graduation pictures until my broken tooth is fixed.


That was the demand I made to my parents. This must be the first time I am talking about my tooth. I usually don’t even acknowledge it because I’ve been insecure about it for the longest while. I should just accept it because I am stuck with it.

In primary school, I broke my front tooth and got it fixed. A few years later while still in primary school I broke the tooth again AND the tooth beside it. When I went to get it fixed, the pain was too much to bear so I couldn’t go through with the procedure. I went through high school with a broken tooth and the nerve started to decay after a few years.

The long and short of the story is that it could no longer be fixed and had to be replaced. Yes, I have a fake tooth in my mouth. I was so uncomfortable smiling and it affected the way I moved my lips when speaking. That was the most annoying bit. The fact that my speech sounded a little different (only for a short while) was nowhere close to how annoying it was that my lips instinctively tried to cover the tooth when I spoke. I am still a little self-conscious of it especially for pictures but I have learned how to just work with it (it’s all in the angles). This should not have been such a big deal because I found out that it is a lot more common than I thought. Young and old have a tooth like mine and we are all living just fine.


I can’t wait to get out of this place!


Not the school (I loved school). I just wanted to get out of the community and town I lived in. It wasn’t a bad place but it wasn’t my fit. I didn’t feel comfortable and it got worse as time went by.  I felt as though I would be stifled there and Kingston would be a better fit for me.

As it turns out, Kingston is a better fit. The friends I am closest with I have either met here or reconnected with here in Kingston. My nomadic spirit is free to move around and the constant bustle is in keeping with my need to always be doing something. BUT low and behold, why must life be so expensive here? Sweet heavens! I don’t even want to think of the alternative. I am happy where I am and that’s that.


If I could go back in time I would have told my younger self to stop stressing. It is all going to work out. Focus on your own lane and do not be distracted by the pace of others. You possess a power in you that you cannot imagine right now but you will see it at work.

That would have been comforting to hear 10 years ago.

What were you worried about 10 years ago that no long matters today?


I think I turned out alright.

Fate or what you might call it.

In my line of work I come across many people on a daily basis. I also get hit on by many men. Unfortunately these men always fall in the category of kruffs/cruffs. I want nothing to do with these men outside of work interaction.

I’ve tried once (once is enough for me) and I was annoyed beyond belief with the guy. So I just had it in my head that I’d only meet kruffs and annoying men on the job.

A few months ago I met this man (on the job) and had an easy flowing, fun conversation with him. When he asked for my number I declined. I didn’t want to be annoyed again.  Sometime after I thought of him and regretted not exchanging contacts. I knew we’d probably never see each other again.

A little over a month of meeting this man, I saw him again. Same organic feel to our conversation, riddled with laughter. Still we did not exchange contacts. 

Another time he spotted me walking while he was passing in traffic. He pulled over to give me a quick hail 😊

The following week he walked into the store we had met and the same thing happened again with the exception of a hug and the exchanging of contacts (finally). 

After a week of little communication we are now at today. I stepped out of my taxi to enter the community I live in and who do I see walking out?  The same guy of course!

ALL THIS TIME. All this time we lived so close? (By all this time I mean two months because I’d only been living there for two months.)

So maybe I would’ve met up with him again either way. For now I’m just enjoying the laughs and expecting nothing. 

When I am nervous I…

I have been very nervous recently (for good causes) and while in my anxious state it I realized that there are certain things that I do or my body does only or mainly when I am nervous. Some are embarrassing or Class TMI but its the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

  1.  I Burp a lot. For a reason unbeknownst to me, gas from ages past find their way back to me to leave through the attic.
  2. I Stress Sweat. Ugh! If sweating wasn’t enough! Stress sweat is stinky but thank the Lord that I have found several brands of deodorant that live up to what they say the will do when you stress sweat.
  3. I talk less. Significantly  less actually. I get lost in my thoughts and forget that others are around me that may need my interaction.
  4. I have increased heart palpitations. After having a steady heart beat, my heart will just gallop from no individual stimuli. It is rather annoying because this helps #2.
  5. I have early onset hunger. I get hungry quicker when I am nervous and I stay hunger after eating. Why? Please tell me.
  6. I feel the urge to poop. Again, I wish I knew why. Does this happen to you? Like I will have to speak to a group of people for a few minutes and be fine but once I know its is a prolonged thing….ooooo lawd!
  7. I fold my arms or I find something for them to do. I think that If I just let them be then I will begin to tremble and I can’t say if I would be able to control that.
  8. I itch. If I become nervous suddenly because of a surprise I will begin to itch. If the nervousness came on gradually then , no.

It is what is is. I do get nervous even though some of my friends believe that I can’t.

I thought this would be a great post idea to tag some of my favourite bloggers in and read what they do when they are nervous. This should be interesting, not just to see the responses but to see HOW you respond. I tag Kay Kauffman, Chris Lai, Ricky Hill and Shaniqua Marie.


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You Guys Have to Check This Out!


While checking out a friend’s blog and going through some old posts I saw that she had linked the above website for visitors to check out.

I was having a down day so of course my finger would clock on just about anything. Not long before that had I listened to a new Pentatonix track (if you have never heard of the group, take a listen and be mind blown: Pentatonix) and ‘lo and behold’ the above link took me to this absolutely wonderful website! I was cheered immediately!


Incredibox is an amazing beat box type website that allows you to create your own tunes with the preset beats, effects, melodies and voices loaded in each version. After mixing and matching for fun, you can unlock special hooks and add them to your tune! You can even record what you have created!

I am not going to spell it out for you nor spoil the fun! Go check out the site and see for yourselves. I’m sure you’ll fall in love too!

My only two cons:

  • It takes a tad bit of time to load.


  • Only seven sounds can play at a time.


Tonnes of persons have recorded what they came up with and have shared it to make ideas easier but just listening to what you have selected should be good enough.

Go ahead and give it a try!