“He was just a stranger with a drink. Till he spoke. Then he became an experience I wanted to have. Once, perhaps. That should be enough” she said.
“Hmm. What exactly did he say? What did you two talk about?” asked the therapist.
“It’s not so much what he said but how he said it” she tried to explain. “He spoke with such confidence. He commanded attention without raising his voice. That sexy voice of his. It’s like chocolate- he’s like chocolate. You just want to lick it.”
“So his voice is what attracted you to him then?” a valid question.
“That paired with his look. He had these eyes…I don’t want to say dreamy but they make you want to know what’s behind them. And when he smiles and they get even smaller, gosh it’s just an overall gorgeous look.” Smiling and biting her lips at the same time, the recliner transported her down memory lane.
“I knew he was taken but I just wanted to have some fun. After all, I’ve never seen a tree I wanted to climb and didn’t. I told him I wanted him and he was ok with the suggestion. So we had sex.”
“His voice drew you into bed with him? Is that what I am getting?”
“Ummm. I don’t know. Maybe because physically he’s different from what I normally go for but his different it good. He felt different and newness was sweet. He was sweet. I liked the feel and taste of his skin. I liked the fact that I didn’t have to say anything or ask anything. I like the fact that he just did it. I liked the fact that he didn’t ask me to do anything I didn’t want to simply because he wanted me to. I liked the fact that he made it easy to feel right. I looked past some things I shouldn’t have because after all I just wanted one thing and then I’d be gone but…I liked the sex more than I thought I would. I liked the feel of his body more than I thought I would and it happened again. I broke my rules with this man and when I said I’d had enough I let his voice and eyes pull me back. And ooooh, he’s so refreshing in bed.”
“Though I don’t condone messing around with men already involved in a relationship, there is nothing wrong with an occasional tussle between two consenting adults. This is probably what you needed, Ava” said the therapist, stilling trying to figure out the purpose of the session.
“You don’t get it do you? I developed feelings for this man. I wanted one like him for myself because I knew I couldn’t have him. I really liked him till I saw the family portrait in his wallet. He’s your husband, Carmen.”
This morning I woke up and did my usual.
It never seemed like a morning that anything significant would jump out at me. When I signed into my Facebook account I saw that I had three friends celebrating their birthdays today, July 22nd.
That’s when I noticed it. All three Facebook friends were guys I had a crush on at one point in time or another.
Maybe I should look into this July 22nd thing enuh
— Charm (@Char_Donae) July 22, 2014
1. The first guy I had met at the church I grew up. I cannot remember exactly ‘meeting’ him since he was always there. What I do remember is suddenly crushing over him when previously he did not appeal to me. I took it as a lesson to be learned; I had said I could never see myself with a certain type of guy and lets just say, he set of a chain reaction. He was so reserved and I don’t know why I found that interesting because I usually don’t. He IS soft spoken and prefers the background. He isn’t one for the flashing lights and attention though I did question this when he bought his first car! (Can I tell you, that after I had let the crush go, that care reignited it!!!! HOT! Just proved to me that men with cars are way more attractive. Now I sound superficial…but I digress.) He must have been the first guy I dubbed ‘my husband‘ without the qualifier of ‘future‘. Silly childhood. PG
2.The second guy I met at my other church. When I was in Kingston I attended a particular class at church and there was this guy there. I never spoke to him for the first year of being in class with him but I did take notice of the fact that he had a striking resemblance to my then favourite gospel artiste Tye Tribbett. Coincidentally, when I actually uttered a few sentences to him it was in the same year that Tye Tribbett and G.A. would be making their second appearance in Jamaica. We bonded over it and decided to meet up at the concert. Low and behold after using another friend’s phone (a female from the same class at at church as us) to text arrangements to him, he thought the number was mine. I can’t remember finding him in the crowd but after the event he kept texting the number which lead me me to believe that he was interested in my friend. I had assumed he knew who the number belonged to since we all had a sheet with the contact information of everyone in the class. I will never forget when he called me saying that all this time he thought he was messaging me. Long and short of the story, we became pretty good friends. AC
3. The third guy I met during my final year at the University of the West Indies. It is amazing how we are still friends considering what his first impressions of me must have been! I should say that my final year at university was my bold, experience-everything-while-you-can year. Every year had its own thing. I had to work with/ alongside (I cannot decide which tells is best) this guy. he was really tall. I cannot say anything more for fear of singling him out. The whole experience of crushing over him opened my eyes to new things. Tall guys are fun (when they aren’t trying to get the spotlight off them). Big up my Saturday-morning-cartoon friend OH
@Char_Donae Oh! Very dominating types, aren’t they?
— sunnybee (@sunnybeamy) July 22, 2014
But I cannot seem to pin point any character trait that was similar to all three guys. I cannot pin down what drew me to like three men all born on the 22nd of July as everything was so different about each. I am not one for finding out what the stars say about anything because I should have been rich and in love by now…but horoscopes are slightly off, right?
Current situation on the streets a ‘yard’: Name: Anything between something from your father’s time to the stupidest compound name ever created. Age: Between 28 – 42 years old. After that it gets creepy. Philosophy: Nuff gyal and gyal inna bungle!/ Money, Gyal, Weed and Liquor!/ M.O.B. all day everyday. Job Title: Jack of all trades. Master of none. Skills: Claims he can cook and clean. Probably knows how to drive a car but you cant say since he doesn’t own one. Hobbies: Dominoes on the corner, football with friends, sitting on the corner chatting bout which and which girl him done,
basically being a big waste of time and space.Done-ing a gyal, dishing out disrespect, smoking, being loud, drinking, cussing…..should I go on? Net Worth: Less than the average Jamaican’s light bill yet claims he can take care of you. Enjoys: Having sex with women, multiple, at the same time if possible. Don’t get mad. Its just what the man likes! And undisturbed sleep…don’t for get that! Location: 90% of the time…on the corner. The other 10%…his mother’s house. (God rest her soul) Sexual Preference: WOMEN. Don’t let him hear you say otherwise even if its true! Perfect Match: A good gyal. (A girl at least 10 years younger than them who has very little say in how the relationship will work. She will submit to him or take ‘bax’ and kick if she refuses. She also must know how to wash white clothes and take care of herself with the money he gives her. If he is giving her money then she has to be ‘sending on’. She cannot disrespect him on the street. She must have very little self respect and know that men show love through kick, ‘bax’ and thump.) Relationship Status: In several relationships but the next woman doesn’t have to know that. She will have ‘wifey’ status. Baggage: Has some kids somewhere that he doesn’t support. Probably some that he doesn’t even know about.(In this case, trace your family heritage so you don’t end up making some good soup!)
I must be stupid! Can someone please tell me why it is that men who fit this general description are the ones that women seem to be running after? I know that women outnumber men in Jamaica but honey, good men are still around. They are just busy working up the corporate ladder. To get one, start looking in the right places and position yourself mami!