“He was just a stranger with a drink. Till he spoke. Then he became an experience I wanted to have. Once, perhaps. That should be enough” she said.
“Hmm. What exactly did he say? What did you two talk about?” asked the therapist.
“It’s not so much what he said but how he said it” she tried to explain. “He spoke with such confidence. He commanded attention without raising his voice. That sexy voice of his. It’s like chocolate- he’s like chocolate. You just want to lick it.”
“So his voice is what attracted you to him then?” a valid question.
“That paired with his look. He had these eyes…I don’t want to say dreamy but they make you want to know what’s behind them. And when he smiles and they get even smaller, gosh it’s just an overall gorgeous look.” Smiling and biting her lips at the same time, the recliner transported her down memory lane.
“I knew he was taken but I just wanted to have some fun. After all, I’ve never seen a tree I wanted to climb and didn’t. I told him I wanted him and he was ok with the suggestion. So we had sex.”
“His voice drew you into bed with him? Is that what I am getting?”
“Ummm. I don’t know. Maybe because physically he’s different from what I normally go for but his different it good. He felt different and newness was sweet. He was sweet. I liked the feel and taste of his skin. I liked the fact that I didn’t have to say anything or ask anything. I like the fact that he just did it. I liked the fact that he didn’t ask me to do anything I didn’t want to simply because he wanted me to. I liked the fact that he made it easy to feel right. I looked past some things I shouldn’t have because after all I just wanted one thing and then I’d be gone but…I liked the sex more than I thought I would. I liked the feel of his body more than I thought I would and it happened again. I broke my rules with this man and when I said I’d had enough I let his voice and eyes pull me back. And ooooh, he’s so refreshing in bed.”
“Though I don’t condone messing around with men already involved in a relationship, there is nothing wrong with an occasional tussle between two consenting adults. This is probably what you needed, Ava” said the therapist, still trying to figure out the purpose of the session.
“You don’t get it do you? I developed feelings for this man. I wanted one like him for myself because I knew I couldn’t have him. I really liked him till I saw the family portrait in his wallet. He’s your husband, Carmen.”
What a journey it has been. The ups, the downs, the uncertainties – and here we are today able to celebrate the little accomplishments.
I know at this very moment you may identify with the feeling of exhaustion more than any other and yes, there will be time to rest. I will cater to you. It is my duty and you are my priority.
I just wanted you to know that I see the hours of work you put in. I see the attention you give. I know about all the sleepless nights. I see your overworking mind, never at rest. I see you making moves. I see the sacrifices you make and understand the skill you demonstrate in being mindful of your queen all while building a dream.
I want you to know that I see all that and I appreciate it and even more so I appreciate you. I appreciate you being a man in my life but not just any man –the real, amazing man you are. I appreciate how you make time for me and my problems. I appreciate how you listen to my ramblings. I appreciate how you drop everything to make sure I am alright. I appreciate how you ensure that my mind is at ease before bed each night. I appreciate how you relieve my stress. I appreciate how you make me feel safe and secure. I appreciate how you free my mind from worry by being true to yourself, to me and to us.
None of that has gone unnoticed and I want you to know that. I’m going to show you that.
I hope you like the contents.
Get dressed. We’re going out.
Then afterwards, I’m going to savour undressing you…..