Tag Archives: changes

It was 10 years ago

Today is June 20, 2017. What happened on this day 10 years ago, is lost to me. I don’t know OK? I have to think to remember what underwear I put on this morning. Generally speaking, in June 2007 I was in my last year of high school. I had probably just wrapped up my Caribbean Secondary Education Certificate examinations and was preparing for graduation.  (Coincidentally, 10 years later my high school, the St. Hilda’s Diocesan High School, is finally extending to have a sixth form.)

I remember a few things concerning me the most at that time.

 

Oh my God! I failed my Caribbean History examination and will have to resist it.

 

I DON’T fail! I just don’t. Like anyone else out there I don’t like the feeling of failing or losing. This was the first time (only twice so far) that I felt that I had not only let myself down but others as well and caused embarrassment and a blow to my reputation. After the exam I went home, got into bed and cried all night (again, this only happened one time after this).

Leading up to the examination I was online (yahoo messenger…yes. It was hot) chatting with a classmate of mine about unrelated topics. Once at school, the chatting was taken offline and face-to-face. I did not revise and read over the way I normally would have in preparation. I felt unprepared.

When the results came out, I passed Caribbean History with a distinction (the highest score category). What was I stressing about? I don’t know. And on top of that, I am not an historian today.

 

I am not graduating or taking any graduation pictures until my broken tooth is fixed.

 

That was the demand I made to my parents. This must be the first time I am talking about my tooth. I usually don’t even acknowledge it because I’ve been insecure about it for the longest while. I should just accept it because I am stuck with it.

In primary school, I broke my front tooth and got it fixed. A few years later while still in primary school I broke the tooth again AND the tooth beside it. When I went to get it fixed, the pain was too much to bear so I didn’t go through with the procedure. I went through high school with a broken tooth and the nerve started to decay after a few years.

Long and short of the story is that it couldn’t be fixed and had to be replaced. Yes, I have a fake tooth in my mouth. I was so uncomfortable smiling and it affected the way I moved my lips when speaking. That was the most annoying bit. The fact that my speech sounded a little different (only for a while) was nowhere close to how annoying it was that my lips instinctively tried to cover the tooth when I spoke. I am still a little self-conscious of it especially for pictures but I have learned how to just work with it (it’s all in the angles). This should not have been such a big deal because I found out that it is a lot more common than I thought. Young and old have a tooth like mine and we are all living just fine.

 

I can’t wait to get out of this place!

 

Not the school (I loved school). I just wanted to get out of the community and town I lived in. It wasn’t a bad place but it wasn’t my fit. I didn’t feel comfortable and it got worse as time went by.  I felt as though I would be stifled there and Kingston would be a better fit for me.

As it turns out, Kingston is a better fit. The friends I am closest with I have either met here or reconnected with here in Kingston. My nomadic spirit is free to move around and the constant bustle is in keeping with my need to always be doing something. BUT low and behold, why must life be so expensive here? Sweet heavens! I don’t even want to think of the alternative. I am happy where I am and that’s that.

 

If I could go back in time I would have told my younger self to stop stressing. It is all going to work out. Focus on your own lane and do not be distracted by the pace of others. You possess a power in you that you cannot imagine right now but you will see it at work.

That would have been comforting to hear 10 years ago.

What were you worried about 10 years ago that no long matters today?

 

CFW201
I think I turned out alright.

Actual Words

When I was a little girl growing up many-a-word left my mouth. Many-a-word had I coined. I would have conversations with others and with myself about if some things I uttered were actual words or just something I made up. There was a solution to that, of course! The dictionary! Good ole Dic! (Oxford in particular for historic ties).

If the word in question was not in the dictionary, it was made-up and simply did not exist. That was my notion as a child. As I grew older and began hearing of words being added to the dictionary, I thought nothing of it because that’s how the first edition came about nay way right?

Then words like “Bootylicious” were added to the dictionary and I started to wonder some more about ‘made-up words’. Jump forward to  present day where everyone around you is tapping on a screen and “socializing” by ignoring you in person but poking you online; where there is a complete new lingo for the young that I am not well-versed in.

The Oxford Dictionaries newest additions were enough to wrinkle my brow. The most perplexing of which include: (The complete list can bee seen on The Times)

adorbs (adj.): arousing great delight; cute or adorable.

amazeballs (adj.): very impressive, enjoyable, or attractive.

YOLO (abbrev.): you only live once (expressing the view that one should make the most of the present moment).

FML (abbrev.): (vulgar slang) f— my life! (used to express dismay at a frustrating personal situation)

To a lesser extent, I am also surprised about:

cray (adj.): crazy, but without that time-consuming extra syllable.

side boob (n.): the side part of a woman’s breast, as exposed by a revealing item of clothing.

So much for the men who coined this word for their inner circles, side boob will have to be revamped or given a new code name. Cray on the other hand had me surprised that it was not listed as ‘slang’. But to more pressing matters: adorbs? and amaeballs? Are you being serious right now?

Is that the criteria for anything to receive validation these days is that a large number of people subscribe to it, no matter the how ridiculous it may seem? I coined better words than these (and I am the sole member on that panel to decide good, better, best)

Perhaps, the contributors and editors of the Oxford Dictionary decided, “no point in waiting a hundred years. Lets add something while we are still alive and in charge of this!” Or does it require a famous personality to utter something for it to be then added to the dictionary?

One thing is for sure is that while language changes and evolves (hence this thing called Old English etc.) it always requires a mass following for noticeable change to take place. My words were used by a few but my friends over in England never heard them.

*PS Big ups to my friend @Shanice_Ookami who was the first person I ever heard use the words second screen umpteen years ago before it was added to the dictionary.

Show and Tell

Out with Old and In with New, is it?

In this day and age, so many things that we have memories of growing up, no longer exist. I remember the women I admired most as a child were rather modest in their dress and in their dealings.
I remember wonder what their lives must be like behind closed doors. Certainly that could not be that well composed and put together 24/7!

Today we no longer have to worry about that! That wonder is gone! Women wear what they want, when they want, with no regard for the appropriateness of time and place.

How can you deliberately set out to show your thong to the world on a summer day?

Since when does a sheer top mean ‘no bra’s allowed’?

Since when is spreading word of your sexual prowess- much in the way that men do- the thing to do?

How do you play a part in infidelity and adultery and sleep well at nights?

Why do women now show and tell the world how they operate in their private life? Do they not know the definition and premises of privacy?

I understand owning your body and doing what you will with it but how does that justify such a show of great self-disrespect?

I believe that all people, women especially, should be like a good book. The cover tells you one thing and as you flip through the pages you are wowed by what you discover to be recorded therein. There are some treasures that shouldn’t be rewarded to the whole world. Select who they will be revealed to and surprise them with how much is held behind a beautiful exterior!