Protected: Chocolate Therapy Session 6: Duality

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UPDATE: Chocolate Therapy Session Series

Hi there!

The Chocolate Therapy Session series are chapters from a book I am working on.  It is about three people who get themselves tangles in a way they never imagined and how they all handle each turn.

The completed book will be posted on another site for review.

If you would like to read the available chapters contact me in the About Page for access to the entire story on the Chocolate Therapy page.

  • Must be 18 and older.

Remember, the first chapter that started it all is open to all.

Chocolate Therapy Session 1

“He was just a stranger with a drink. Till he spoke. Then he became an experience I wanted to have. Once, perhaps. That should be enough” she said.

“Hmm. What exactly did he say? What did you two talk about?” asked the therapist.

“It’s not so much what he said but how he said it” she tried to explain. “He spoke with such confidence. He commanded attention without raising his voice. That sexy voice of his. It’s like chocolate- he’s like chocolate. You just want to lick it.”

“So his voice is what attracted you to him then?” a valid question.

“That paired with his look. He had these eyes…I don’t want to say dreamy but they make you want to know what’s behind them. And when he smiles and they get even smaller, gosh it’s just an overall gorgeous look.” Smiling and biting her lips at the same time, the recliner transported her down memory lane.

“I knew he was taken but I just wanted to have some fun. After all, I’ve never seen a tree I wanted to climb and didn’t. I told him I wanted him and he was ok with the suggestion. So we had sex.”

“His voice drew you into bed with him? Is that what I am getting?”

“Ummm. I don’t know. Maybe because physically he’s different from what I normally go for but his different it good. He felt different and newness was sweet. He was sweet. I liked the feel and taste of his skin. I liked the fact that I didn’t have to say anything or ask anything. I like the fact that he just did it. I liked the fact that he didn’t ask me to do anything I didn’t want to simply because he wanted me to. I liked the fact that he made it easy to feel right. I looked past some things I shouldn’t have because after all I just wanted one thing and then I’d be gone but…I liked the sex more than I thought I would. I liked the feel of his body more than I thought I would and it happened again. I broke my rules with this man and when I said I’d had enough I let his voice and eyes pull me back. And ooooh, he’s so refreshing in bed.”

“Though I don’t condone messing around with men already involved in a relationship, there is nothing wrong with an occasional tussle between two consenting adults. This is probably what you needed, Ava” said the therapist, still trying to figure out the purpose of the session.

“You don’t get it do you? I developed feelings for this man. I wanted one like him for myself because I knew I couldn’t have him. I really liked him till I saw the family portrait in his wallet. He’s your husband, Carmen.”

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Warning: Part 2 is for mature readers only. Contact me for password

Fate or what you might call it.

In my line of work I come across many people on a daily basis. I also get hit on by many men. Unfortunately these men always fall in the category of kruffs/cruffs. I want nothing to do with these men outside of work interaction.

I’ve tried once (once is enough for me) and I was annoyed beyond belief with the guy. So I just had it in my head that I’d only meet kruffs and annoying men on the job.

A few months ago I met this man (on the job) and had an easy flowing, fun conversation with him. When he asked for my number I declined. I didn’t want to be annoyed again.  Sometime after I thought of him and regretted not exchanging contacts. I knew we’d probably never see each other again.

A little over a month of meeting this man, I saw him again. Same organic feel to our conversation, riddled with laughter. Still we did not exchange contacts. 

Another time he spotted me walking while he was passing in traffic. He pulled over to give me a quick hail 😊

The following week he walked into the store we had met and the same thing happened again with the exception of a hug and the exchanging of contacts (finally). 

After a week of little communication we are now at today. I stepped out of my taxi to enter the community I live in and who do I see walking out?  The same guy of course!

ALL THIS TIME. All this time we lived so close? (By all this time I mean two months because I’d only been living there for two months.)

So maybe I would’ve met up with him again either way. For now I’m just enjoying the laughs and expecting nothing. 

Post Wedding Feelings

Last night I witnessed one of my longest (oldest?) friends get married. It was beautiful through and through.

It was great fun and sort of a mini reunion for us gals that went to high school together. We joined the bride and groom on the dance floor and we danced away. We weren’t short on laughter and fun that night. There was happiness all around and I truly felt happy to see so many persons my age happy with their ‘person’.

The night ended and my ride got me and dropped me home and it sunk in. All my friends are happy in relationships, making the next step of marriage and starting a family and here I am…alone. If on any night I didn’t want to be alone it was this night. But I was and I stayed that way. I cried a little, because my mind went there. My mind went to counting the number of  my friends that are married, engaged, in a relationship, new parents and happy. What was my issue? Why didn’t any of my long term relationships work? Why can’t I meet a guy that’s on the same page as me? Why can’t I have that? (And by that I don’t mean the wedding). I never like having too long of a pity party so I eventually just fell asleep.

I woke up this morning with the same feeling. Then I decided to go on social media. That is always the worst decision to make when in a mood like this. Believe me when I say EVERYBODY AND DEM MODDA WAS CELEBRATING ANNIVERSARIES, MARRIAGES AND LOVE. Everybody.  Like I was being taunted.
I’m not actually looking forward to a wedding. I never have. Never dreamt of that as a child. I have no idea what I want my dress to look like or my color scheme or a theme or location. NOTHING. All I’ve ever dreamed about was sharing my life with someone that loves me for me, loves me genuinely, is honest and faithful and someone I can build a life and family with. I’ve only ever dreamed of my partner and how awesome our lives will be. And that’s the part that matters. The person, not the moment.
In college I felt my biological clock ticking. I wanted to have a baby so bad. That baby-fever is a real thing. I no longer feel that. I told myself I wanted to have my children by the age of 30 but I want to get married before that. I also would prefer if I knew my spouse for years prior to us getting married. Well, the clock’s a-ticking and time is running out.

That’s a timeline I gave myself that doesn’t seem to be working out. Last night a friend of mine who was also present at the wedding said she thinks it’s just gonna surprise me. Just creep up on me. I sure do hope so. Because this is borderline depressing. 

While I acknowledge that marriage isn’t for everyone I sure hope God thinks it’s for me because the only thing I don’t want in life is to be alone and I love to love. (Sometimes it hurts to be that way)

You might like being alone

I’m the kind of person that likes their alone time. I’ve been like that ever since a child. As a child I also craved human interaction and just always wanted a friend around.

Here I am a single adult, living life on my own, enjoying my solitude. I never thought I’d enjoy it this much. I always said that as much as I love my alone time I could never live alone. I’d go crazy. But these last few days that’s all I’ve wanted when I got home. To be alone. No voices. No conversation. Directing my own thoughts. Doing what I want at my pace. IT’S SOOOOOO RELAXING. So nice.

So here’s what my night looks like and I’m quite pleased with it too.

What a chill Thursday night looks like

What unexpected things are making you happy?