Category Archives: Nobody Asked me But…

Post Wedding Feelings

Last night I witnessed one of my longest (oldest?) friends get married. It was beautiful through and through.

It was great fun and sort of a mini reunion for us gals that went to high school together. We joined the bride and groom on the dance floor and we danced away. We weren’t short on laughter and fun that night. There was happiness all around and I truly felt happy to see so many persons my age happy with their ‘person’.

The night ended and my ride got me and dropped me home and it sunk in. All my friends are happy in relationships, making the next step of marriage and starting a family and here I am…alone. If on any night I didn’t want to be alone it was this night. But I was and I stayed that way. I cried a little, because my mind went there. My mind went to counting the number of  my friends that are married, engaged, in a relationship, new parents and happy. What was my issue? Why didn’t any of my long term relationships work? Why can’t I meet a guy that’s on the same page as me? Why can’t I have that? (And by that I don’t mean the wedding). I never like having too long of a pity party so I eventually just fell asleep.

I woke up this morning with the same feeling. Then I decided to go on social media. That is always the worst decision to make when in a mood like this. Believe me when I say EVERYBODY AND DEM MODDA WAS CELEBRATING ANNIVERSARIES, MARRIAGES AND LOVE. Everybody.  Like I was being taunted.
I’m not actually looking forward to a wedding. I never have. Never dreamt of that as a child. I have no idea what I want my dress to look like or my color scheme or a theme or location. NOTHING. All I’ve ever dreamed about was sharing my life with someone that loves me for me, loves me genuinely, is honest and faithful and someone I can build a life and family with. I’ve only ever dreamed of my partner and how awesome our lives will be. And that’s the part that matters. The person, not the moment.
In college I felt my biological clock ticking. I wanted to have a baby so bad. That baby-fever is a real thing. I no longer feel that. I told myself I wanted to have my children by the age of 30 but I want to get married before that. I also would prefer if I knew my spouse for years prior to us getting married. Well, the clock’s a-ticking and time is running out.

That’s a timeline I gave myself that doesn’t seem to be working out. Last night a friend of mine who was also present at the wedding said she thinks it’s just gonna surprise me. Just creep up on me. I sure do hope so. Because this is borderline depressing. 

While I acknowledge that marriage isn’t for everyone I sure hope God thinks it’s for me because the only thing I don’t want in life is to be alone and I love to love. (Sometimes it hurts to be that way)

Must-Do Activities this Summer!

Summer is here! Though in the Tropics we experience summer all year round, you still get excited for the season so: ‘Summer is here!’

This is the time when we all have little more time on our hands and we frantically try to find ways to keep cool and enjoy the moment. We tend to travel a lot more during the summer to visit family and friends and have brand new experiences at home and abroad. This is also the time when you will hear the usual good advice and recommendations ‘keep hydrated’, ‘wear sunscreen and hats’, which all should be considered. But for those of us set on having a ‘chill’ summer here in our tropical isle, don’t be short on fun and exciting things to do to match the heat.

Here are some cool ideas to try this summer:

  • When you live on an island, going to the beach as an excuse for the heat is a no-brainer. Its second nature. But this summer, do more than that. Check out new local spots that you haven’t been to before. It may be the new movie theater, bowling alley, sports bar, you get the gist. Just get up and go out!
  • Haven’t seen friends in a while? The entire family is free this summer? Awesome! Have everyone over for dinner. Keep the work minimal by having an outdoor potluck under the shade of that big tree in the yard. Imagine the fun and laughter! Keep things summery and fresh by utilizing fresh local fruits in meals. Make it a Tropical Jamboreehammock-385600_1280
  • When you simply want to have a moment with yourself but the heat has you tormented, no worries. The shade of trees will come to your rescue. Get a hammock in the shade, lay there and fall asleep or read a book or two. Either way, you’ll love it out there!
  • For the days when the sun feels that much hotter and you can’t fill the pool up to take a swim, here’s something fun that can cool down the entire family. Dress for the weather and go play in the sprinklers! Your lawn will be happy but you will be even happier.
  • Now, for those nights when indoors seems unbearable, spend the night under the stars. Set up an area in your yard and ‘set up shop’. Make that backyard camping experience even better by throwing in some star gazing with that special someone *wink*.

Don’t let the summer heat beat you and don’t let the summer pass without you doing something fun! Remember that camera you’ve been sitting on? Whip it out and document your summer!

Enjoy!

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Inside the Mind of: Bob Marley

Jah! Ras Tafari, Ever living , ever present, ever sure.

Yesterday, I man see everybody celebrating what dem is call my birthday. Jah pickney no have no start and no expire date. When you connect with Jah, you, inna yourself, becomes a part a everything.

Dem say me neva rich till Rita and my sons and daughters monetize mi legacy. A poor man is a man that count money and possession as riches. Me never poor, neva born poor. Is the system Babyblon set up fi blind black people. Why a man rich? Who give him anything? Man don’t have nutten but life and if everybody have it everybody deh pon di same level, nu so? So who make a man rich? Who fix that? I am a rich man. Rich man in life. Don’t talk bout my women and my children. Me and you may never know the full of it, but just know say a farmer neva yet plant 1 seed and expect a crop.

Um, mek me tell you something, mijarity of the people in the world, still no understand inna dem sense yet what um, the plan of Rastafari is outside of Rastafari. Rasta is the future still, rasta make rebels. We are rebelutionaries… Jah come fi man see say him fi free, yo u dig? Man nuh supposed to, supposed to, to deh aum, bow to a nex man. U dig?

Di whole a we need fi return to Africa. You see, in di mother land, di whole a we were all kings and queens. See, we need fi remember that the Christ set aside land fi we, first and foremeost and we are the chosen people, secondmost.  Di king a come from out of the east and the opposite from the west.

Fi deepa overstanding, a man inna himself have to stop and consider how fi get that overstanding. Di ungle way a man a go get that is thru Jah. Fi get to jah…the bessest way is through herb. Memba there is a voice inna every body and if you listen good, you will find di right way fi do something.

Di whole a we a Noah pickney dem enuh. Is just that Noah give Africa to Ham, di black man. Europe to the white man and Asia to the Chiney man , you know di yellow people.

War nuh fid eh happen enuh. Killing and dem tings? No man. Is jus man consciousness become mess up and all a these things happen. But God did done say him a separate the goat from the sheep. How? Bere natural disasters. Check it.

But all fi happen is for Africa fi unite. Unite a di promise land in Africa. Black people everywhere need fi get this message yes. Make di final working easier. So me is forever grateful fi di work mi family and queens and other Rastas do in spreading the message. Jah say it nah stop till it reach all who it fi reach. Peace and consciousness is what it is.

Africa unite! Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourself can free our mind.

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Why Fairy Tale Romances are a set up for Disappointment

Little girls (and boys) have been grown on watching fairy tales and being told bedtime stories of a damsel in distress, a knight in shining armour coming to her rescue and the infamous “…and they lived happily ever after.”

Its great that in an effort to preserve a child’s innocence we paint a picture of a perfect world for them (it is my assumption that that is the intention). The real world is just too much for a child to have to handle and try to comprehend. However, there comes a time when we, the ones who filled their heads with perfect endings to perfect love stories, need to let them know that it is not so in the world of 9+ billion.
The chances of a woman finding a man that knows exactly what she wants and her heart’s desires without prior interaction is slim. So too is the likelihood if your first kiss causing your leg to pop and you living in “honeymoon bliss”  for the rest of your life or a man finding a perfectly untainted woman in this day and age.

Rare strand of naivety 

Nobody lives blissfully unaware of the world around them. This is 2015. The internet is here to stay. The entire expanse of the world has now become a click away. We are all living on one street. If children grow up believing in these stories and the personas presented, we are creating adults for a world that no longer exists. Additionally, no one is completely numb to the onslaughts of raging hormones (children wouldn’t necessarily know this, but only a few fairy tale characters are outside the range of fertility).

Soft “Tough” shells are no longer in production

Many characters in fairly tales (protagonists mainly) have undergone some amount of hardship, ill-treatment, “oppression” – if I might. And for years, it seems. After being rescued from their dilemma/ predicament, they carry on with a carefree life to live happily ever after. While it is great for our children to grow with optimism, what are the odds of our child being faced with real hardship and coming out not being ‘jaded’ to some degree? Hmmm? Tell me.

The Love Trump Card

Fairy Tales portray love as the solution to every problem. I mean, what can’t love fix? Its like the “world peace” answer in beauty pageants. But the sad reality is, love doesn’t fix every problem. If that was the case, I’d love-out the unemployment in Jamaica right about now. Love isn’t going to pay your JPSco (utility) bill or put food on your table 😦 but true.

In the end, when the truth comes out we have made ourselves out to be liars. Children look up to us and believe what we tell them. My grandma promised me a Barbie laptop that I saw in a magazine (which she never saw) and for years after I had outgrown such pink stuff, I still believed she would find it and get it for me.

When I was told as a child that we hear thunder when God is angry, I believed. But I learned the truth. I look at that as a lie even though it was probably told to me to avoid the long scientific explanation. It was a lie (from the pit of hell…lol). If you don’t want to be made out to be a liar, simply tell them the truth about your fairy tales (that it’s not true).

Or you can have a mindset like mine where everything is the truth and a lie at the same time 😉

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On that matter of Sex

I don’t mean to jump right into all that erotic stuff as I get back but I just want to ask if others have had my observation too.

With all the sex being strewn about the media and it being so readily available to all, its still not something that is openly spoken about in the workplace.

Today was a relatively loose day at work. Both in terms of work load and idle talk. At work, I spent most of my day away from my desk. The young lady I sat with usually doesn’t speak much but today she did.
She was reading a novel of some sort and I suggested an author for her read. Before I knew it she was telling me about sex scenes from various books she read.

Was I uncomfortable? Oh hell yes!

Why did she feel comfortable enough to share this information with me? Was it because I suggested books to her and she immediately assumed they were of the same genre as the one she was reading?

Possible. But don’t you find that people are openly talking about sex in spaces that were once ‘sacred’ or ‘taboo’ to the topic?

Tell me what you think? Do you find that its so?

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People are Unreliable

People are unreliable.
Nothing’s new.
I’ve known this fact for some time now but I thought it was only applicable sometimes. Upon careful observation I noticed that the mist unreliable of persons are men with cars.
Ha!
Why? You ask….
Well I don’t know.
I could go on forever analyzing my instances with each and speculate reason upon reason as to why they are how they are. I won’t.
I already have a headache and I don’t want to make it worse.

Of course I do believe that there are several factors that affect every outcome. I don’t know the situation surrounding each of my disappointments but men are unreliable. Men who drive are even more unreliable.
I’ve even seen reliable men become the opposite after purchasing a car.

I’m just tired of it.
Be gone.

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African Black Soap Review

Am I asking for too much too soon?
For the last month I have been cleansing my face, chest and shoulders with the Nubian Heritage African Black Soap alone

*Along with the soap I did a turmeric-lime mask twice, an aspirin mask once and tea tree oil everyday except for a week. Its pear season (avocado) and I have been eating them shamelessly everyday.

What do I have to say about it:

It does dry the skin out.
It really cleanses the skin.
Be careful what other products you use on your skin. The drying and exfoliant properties of the soap makes everything seem harsher/stronger.
I have been consuming oils and sugars but my face has not been breaking out.
THE BAD: I burned half my face off using the same tea tree oil I had been using before the soap.

In comparing a picture of my face the day I bought the soap and one of today, the acne scars have faded but I have to remind myself that it’s only been a month. I was expecting overnight results. My skin tone is slowly recovering from overexposure to the sun. On top of that my skin is smoother, making make up application flawless.

Final Recommendation: If you have the patience for the long haul, its for you.

Paradigm Shift or Nah?

Are we on the verge of a paradigm shift or are we trying to avoid one?

A paradigm shift happens when agents of change catalyse the change they want to occur. A change in world view is never something that everyone will agree on and want at the time it happens.

The world, as is, seems to be revolving around (now thwarting away from) the idea of global economic dominance belonging to those countries that seem or proclaim to be better off. On top of that, the purist mentality, as it relates to intimate relationships, is becoming more and more relaxed. Albeit a difficult journey through time, for some countries or groups within countries, the change seems to be happening.

WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS
HAVING A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE
WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS
HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE

The wars in the Middle East are not going to stop any time soon simply because the great United States of America and the Arab Emirates have thrown their support behind Syria in fighting against ISIS. Not all forms of violence should be supported but what if this is the way to lead to a new view? *I am full aware of the fact that if ISIS came across me, I’d be no more but that is beside my point. Change doesn’t happen overnight and these kinds of wars didn’t begin yesterday.

What could be the end result of this? Possibly one monotheistic religion to govern us all; the ‘unlearning’ of religious tolerance, duplicity and coexistence.

Fundamentalist purists would have the world remain the way they say it should be: The importance/dominance of the Nuclear Family above all other forms and above whatever perversion we may call love and attraction. With that being said and many fundamentalist thinkers still being around, one cannot deny that there is another struggle going on in the world. The nuclear family is no longer being seen as the only unit to produce families and functional little human beings. Interracial couples are everywhere. They are fearless. After all, love doesn’t see skin colour. The increase of single parent families and extended families would mark the beginning of the of this paradigm shift and the increased boldness and demands for acceptance of homosexuals, their lifestyle and same-sex family unit, could be seen as the midst or end of the shift (I would say the former). As it relates to interracial couples, I honestly think  some good scientific research could come from this. Same sex families raise children, some of whom are quite fine and functional in society and, if I may add, heterosexual. Pride parades are gaining more support, more persons are taking the step of ‘coming out of the closet’, women are becoming more independent in child-rearing, fathers (yes, not a typo) are willing to raise children on their own. Not everyone agrees to these things even though they accept the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and choices.

What could be the end result of this? Population control for one! The widespread learning of sexual tolerance/acceptance; the eradication of not just homosexuals but everyone who is sexually adventurous; either the creation of more races or the eradication of several.

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If Eve hadn’t eaten the apple

The other day while washing my hair in the shower, this question came to me ‘What if Eve hadn’t eaten the apple?’ *I am just using apple because we really don’t know what fruit it is that she did eat. I imagine its something we haven’t come across after that incident. If we had, I wonder what the human mind would be like today…I digress (The Fall). ‘I wouldn’t have to wash my hair like this. I probably would just dip in a river or some body of water. Heck, that’s all I’d have to do to get clean. Would I have body odour? Would water alone be able to wash that all way? I presume so.’

I’d like to think life was supposed to be next to perfect or effortless. But really, what if Eve had not eaten that fruit?