I’m tired. Let me preface with that. Being tired may affect the final outcome of this blog…which also means I will not proofread after the publish/schedule button has been hit.
The entire weekend surrounded the wedding of a friend of mine.
Friday: I chomped on pain killers and dragged myself to the venue for rehearsals. I arrived an entire hour late and was the first person to get there nonetheless. The venue spoke to me and the waves, wind and scenic view kept my company till the others arrived.
Saturday: After making it clear to all persons travelling with me (driver-friend included) that I have to leave by 2 pm to get to the venue beforehand and finalize some things with the groom, at 2pm there was no ride. My friend requested that I called everyone to ensure that they too were ready. I did that. Still no ride.
Me: Where are you?
Driver-friend: I am downtown coming up to your house now.
20 mins pass
Me: Where are you? It does not take that long from downtown to my house.
Driver-friend: Me a come, man, me come
Me: Dont lie to me driver-friend! DON'T LIE TO ME! You can tell me if you not in town yuh know!
Driver-friend: I am in town man, I'm coming to you now.
More time passed and I watched the hour slip by slowly. I have nothing called patience and the others travelling with me began to call my phone to find out what happened to us leaving at 2.
I was so livid, and understandably so, that I even got undressed. Took my clothes off and tried not to panic. Was this some game he was playing on me? I wouldn’t put it past him to say he would do something then not do it, simply for getting back at me for some long forgotten thing!
The wedding was set to begin at 4 pm and my friend, the bride, is a stickler for time so I knew she would not be an hour or two late to her own wedding. At best, my house was an hour away from the venue, barring traffic but this was Saturday, there would be traffic!!! A few minutes to 3 pm, when my companions had assumed I had left without them, my driver friend said he was on the hill behind my house (another lie I refused to believe) but then I saw his face in an unfamiliar car…
I had no time to take notice of anything. I was coaching myself to stay calm and not give off too much of an attitude when I got in it. We picked up my other friends and started to the wedding. It wasn’t until we had reached the highway and I saw police on the road that this car began to get interesting.
At an intersection, my driver-friend and another vehicle had an altercation and he began honking the horn but there was no sound! I thought he had broken it. But no, it was just stuck…it works like that!
Upon seeing the police, I reached for my seat belt to buckle myself in (I usually do this but as you could tell, my auto-anger management strategies had me preoccupied.)
Laughter erupted from the back seat off the car. “You just now noticing that? It’s the first thing I saw when I came in.” There was nothing for my hand to grab..nothing..no seat belt! No seat belt for the passenger!
Sigh…Going to the wedding and not wanting to sweat my outfit and make up off, I asked for some AC. My driver-friend chuckled “AC? the car doesn’t have AC”
Some moments later I asked my friend on the back why her window was still up. She responded “If I had something to wind it down with. Do you have a pliers or something on the front?”
STOP IT! Don’t Laugh at my predicament….Laugh at the car.
It gets better. We started to talk about gas for the car. The another friend from the back said “Um, how do you know how much gas you have?” and the other friend chimed in “I was wondering from the gas station ’cause I noticed that after you got gas the needle didn’t move”.
Driver-friend muttering: "Women, always worrying about unnecessary things."
After delving into the car and where he sourced it, we found out that he had bought it a few weeks ago for a special purpose and most things were intact. But now, everything was falling apart since they were being held together by krazy glue.
Anyway, we got to the venue in one piece, thankfully, then a friend of mine called to me from the back of the car to let her out. There were no handles to open the car door from the inside! What? After a quick inspection, I found out that only the front passenger door had anything to open it from the inside. Well, at least I had that. No seat belt but I could open my door from the inside.
Then there was the wedding, which was beautiful. Saw friends from high school and people from a while back. But back to the car!
On our way back home after midnight a karaoke challenge ensued and I was winning (if you ask me). In between song selections the car took centre stage again. My attention was drawn to the gear stick. The gear stick had no labelling except for a P and a red light shining through. The rest of the labelling had broken off and was now non-existent.
At this point, I couldn’t trust myself with laughing anymore (even though the biggest, duttiest laugh escaped my lips) and a friend from the back seat drew my attention to the speedometer, which had not moved from 0 kmph all day. So we didn’t know how fast we were going nor did we know how much gas was in the car. In an effort to console me, my friends began to point out the good things about the car:
- All three mirrors were present even though one was broken.
- The car had four wheels.
- The brakes and headlights worked.
- The radio worked so we didn’t have to sit in silence.
- The windshield wiper supposedly works but I stopped them from finding out. I couldn’t handle any more disappointment.
Sunday: Hangover medz from a night of no alcohol and coping with the reality that a hot girl like myself just spent the night driving in a Sunny.
Just so you know, I love my friends. We laugh at each other, with each other and we are still friends at the end of the day.