I recently placed myself in a very high stress situation.
My head hurt, my brain would not maneuver the obstacle and I was frustrated. I became irritated and was just dishing out attitude. I even began to take feedback and general comments to a whole new level of personal.

I cried. Then I stopped and questioned my actions. This was not like me. I don’t do these things. Says who? Everyone has come to know me as a the strong-willed person that isn’t easily derailed and doesn’t show much emotion. No one ever stopped to consider why….
The thing is, I am a normal human being too. I get my feelings hurt too, I cry sometimes, I get nervous, I feel intimidated, I sometimes feel like I can’t do certain things and that I’m not good enough. This is just not the first ting you will know about me because its not what I want to be the only thing that comes to people’s minds when they think of me. I make an effort to be strong, to not cry, to tell myself that I can do it, that I am worth something because it doesn’t come naturally. I did not wake up like that!

Everyday I interact with someone, I challenge myself. I challenge myself to let them see an individual that I hope can somehow be projected back unto me. I hope they see the person I want to be, the person I try to be each day without casting judgement when a more human side shows.

I try not to over think things. I try not to cry when my feelings are hurt (or not to let them see me cry, at. least). I try things that I think are hard and not for me. Why? Because its a process of self discovery. I don’t think you stay they same forever and as such, I want to keep learning what I can and cannot do. I try not to let my fear cripple me. The fear is there, I’m just trying. I never want to look back and say ‘I didn’t try’. When I say something is intimidating its because that’s my opinion and I am entitled to one, as are you. It in no way means I have given up.

I recently placed myself in a very high stress situation.
My head hurt, my brain would not maneuver the obstacle and I was frustrated. I became irritated and was just dishing out attitude. I even began to take feedback and general comments to a whole new level of personal. But then I remembered I’m doing this for me. For myself. Not for the next person and their comments (negative or not). I’m doing this because I want to better myself. I tell myself that I can do it and its always nice to have someone in your corner believing in you too (thank you for telling me that I can do anything).

So why do I challenge myself? I challenge myself for me. To reinvent and discover myself. I challenge myself to become the person I want to be.

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