I recently attended a production my best friend was responsible for at her church. I got there early enough and helped to finish preparations in time. We offer that kind of support to each other. That section she planned was the best part of the whole thing. I am not being biased; I just have a critical eye.
After prep I was so tired I was falling asleep beside the creation. I had to protect it from the curious children who kept coming around before show time. Then this man, a father of a toddler, offers for me to come sit near the fan since I was hot and he was hogging it with two ladies. I did and I still fell asleep.
After show time, I walked outside in search if libations. There was the father calling me again. Being polite I went over. He was with his son in his car preparing the toddler for a change of clothing. I don’t even remember what his first words were but I quickly realised he was single and interested me. My quest for water was now coupled with leaving his presence and became even more attractive by the second. I quickly walked away.
I was annoyed by the attention I was getting from men who thought I would possibly be interested in them. Don’t get me wrong, I like to turn heads but I had to give some if these men points for confidence if they seriously thought I would give in. I am talking about some seriously unkempt Rastas.
Anyway, after arranging for a ride to leave, I came across the father again. This time I was nice enough to entertain a conversation and he was quite the polite gentleman if you asked me. During our very clean conversation he mentioned that my best friend doesn’t really talk to him but he knows her because she is active in the children’s ministry. I told him that that wasn’t in his favour. Shortly after, my bestie came along and stole me away. We got to talking and she informed me that he was ‘looking’ her (I wish I knew a more comprehensive term to use right now). She also said “by the way if you two get married, I’m not coming to your wedding.” Like what the actual heck?? I just met this dude! Where is this coming from? (Actually I know. Our mutual friend’s wedding is coming up shortly and we’ll both be involved in the ceremony)
The father didn’t know that I was friends with the girl he once tried to get much more best friends. But the unwritten rule goes that if a guy was interested in one of your friends then its crossing the line to consider anything with them.
The father didn’t quite understand why I wouldn’t give him the time of day afterwards. It’s the rule.
There are other rules like NEVER under any circumstance date your friends’ exes. I can’t comprehend how this happens but apparently it does.
Another unwritten rule is that while your friend will want you to be cool with her significant other, don’t be getting too friendly! That’s common sense.
One more rule is that when your friend and her significant other are having a fall out, you should stand behind your girl and support her wholeheartedly. This rule does not apply to me. I am not about taking sides. It’s not my relationship. What I love about my best friend, or rather the relationship we have, is that we don’t ask each other to choose sides. If she is wrong, I tell her point-blank that based on her side of the story, she is in the red. When I’m overreacting she tells me that I am wrong. We don’t cherry coat things for each other.
Some of the unwritten rules I have heard of are absolutely ridiculous and counter-productive for at least one party. Some of these rules go a long way in preserving friendships too. For the most part, these rules that exist and govern how girlfriends relate to each other will continue to boggle men.
All I can say is that there are rules and its all about them.