There is an unwritten rule for female friendships that states that the significant other of a friend is OFF LIMITS even after the relationship ends. There are some crazy girls that will say something like ‘I don’t care if you want to hook up with him when I’m done.’ Those females have no self esteem and obviously do not place value on themselves and their friends. Many friendships, noses, faces and other bones have been broken up over situations where someone finds themselves attracted to a friend’s significant other and ACTS UPON IT.
I am tired of seeing women beat up on other women over men. While some are entertaining, none of them are ever good. How can something like this be avoided?
Choose friends wisely
I know. Friendships should be a natural thing. As I got older I realized the importance of carefully choosing who you befriend. Not everyone will be good for the circle you choose to keep close to you. Choose friends that do not like the same type of guys you do. Of course you have to have things in common. My friends and I all have an appreciation for a gorgeous man but when it comes down to it, none of us like the same kinds of guys. We maintain diversity. If you have a friend that likes just about anything with a d**k, you have a problem already.
Talk to your friends about it
Make it something you talk to your friends about so you know what their views on the rule are.
The best setting to do something like that in is a sleep over, a GNO or a group in-home mani/pedi session. Just get the conversation going and we are all girls so it won’t be hard to get the information out. Make note of who agrees with the rule and those who have their reservations. Also, get feedback from them about your boyfriend/man. The group setting may mean that they won’t be completely honest on this last part but you will have an idea.
Find out what your boyfriend thinks about your friends
Another way is to find out what your boyfriend thinks about your friends. Based on his past behaviour (if you know anything about it) you will be able to tell if he is prone to stray from the ‘straight and narrow’. In this situation ladies, listen with your eyes as well.
If you find that boundaries are being crossed something has to be cut off. You need to know where your friends’ loyalties lie and also where you boyfriend’s loyalty lies. Both should want to preserve the relationship they have with you and if that’s not the case then they do not value you enough and your life can be much better without both of them.
Just my take.