Sixteen years old
I feel like sixteen years old again and this is one of the feelings in this stage of my life that I do not particularly fancy.
You know how you feel when you meet a guy that you like at sixteen…you smile when you think about him, your heart races for no apparent reason and you seem to like him for no apparent reason as well…you just do! Thats how I’ve been feeling lately over one particular guy.
Nice guy but…
He’s tall….thats all I’ll say about physicality. There is just something about me and climbing that I still have not come to fully understand. He is a straightforward gangsta kinda guy, with something soft inside (I think it might be his heart, but I don’t know for sure). I enjoy talking to this guy and if you left us to it, we’d probably talk off each others’ ears. I feel almost completely comfortable around this young man. We sit up all night goofing around, staying in late watching cartoons (something the I don’t do unless its Phineas and Ferb and I haven’t seen them from 2010), sharing nuts (peanuts that is!) and enjoying getting to know each other more. Time and time it has crossed my mind but he is the one who says it most ‘we are almost perfect mirror images of each other’ (now,no I’m not tall but you must know I’m not referring to anything physical here!). All and all, he’s a pretty nice guy but he’s not what I want right now..probably if I had met him some years ago but thats the beauty of getting older and maturing….you get to see all the people you could have met that could have held you back in a state of mind you were growing out of.
Hothead, Hotskull, Killa!
For some reason though, after trying to detach myself from all affectionate feelings toward this young man, he keeps texting me “hotskul wah u a gwaan wid?” “killa weh you deh pon?” These nicknames that he has for me were derived from our ‘GTKY’ sessions and yes I did kill a chicken once and I seem to have frequent headaches that he hears about! lol!
But back to serious matters! I want to detach and he is moving towards some level of attachment! Cho BBC! (brown bobbing chicken!). It all started from a brag some one had placed me up to and it was against the wall at FF (big up Irvine!) that it made sense but I wasnt up to the analysis!
Against the wall, there was another guy that I had a crush on! I knew they were no strangers to each other but I had no idea how far back they went. I later found out that this guy I am crushing over (but have managed to handle it like a mature 21 year old) went to the same school as my ‘nice but not-so-right’ guy! Like are you serious? I know its a small world but can it get any smaller? So it is here that I begin to think….’these are not the only two CC men that I know.’ I know two other CC guys, both of which pulled strings at my heart as well!
Now I am faced with a trend for which I must find the cause! Four guys. Same school. And I either have/had crushes on them all.
What is it about the men that CC produces that make me so attracted to them? Well, let me break it down and see:
- He was into music and tall. Not bad looking. Hilarious, intriguing and amazing to speak with! Nice body! (but he got fat and U-G-L-Y)
- He was INTRIGUING! I was concerned about helping him too! He was trusting of me. He was tall. Ambitious but wayward. Nice body but facially challenged (raised eyebrow!)
- He was tall. Good looking with a great smile. Outgoing, lover of fun and intriguing. An acceptably okay body was what he was working with.
- He was TALL (the tallest of them all). Intriguing buk! OKay body. Mildly hilarious. Great to speak with.
I don’t know about you but I cant pick out any similarities…..
*Turns a blind eye and walks away…whistling!*